Just for today

Today I felt angry. My hands shook all day even though I smiled. I hugged a seasoned warrior activist woman, herself exhausted. We both were, but she more than me. I snapped at the wrong people but for the right reasons. I distracted myself with stupid memes. I found myself more in my thoughts than in my world and I realized it when I saw I’d scanned and emailed myself a blank sheet of paper—absolutely nothing written on it, but I thought it was important. Maybe it was.

I stopped. I closed my eyes. I asked myself, “What can I do right now?” 

I can’t undo the pain that’s been done to all others by the people in charge. I can’t re-freeze the glaciers or bring dead lions back to life or stop bullets shot at raised hands. But there must be something I can do. I asked myself, “What can I do, right now?”

Fill out that form–actually do it–so that the good people coming to the conference to work on doing good things will have comfortable hotel rooms…that will allow them to sleep well so they can do the good work the next day.

Be kind to others even when it would be easier to ignore them or be snarky.

Don’t re-tell the same story of why you’re still pissed off at the person who pissed you off last year. Yes, they were shitty. But stop telling the same story over and over.

Read to your niece and nephew and take the time to thoroughly answer their questions thoughtfully and honestly–don’t just make up quirky stuff because you think you’re hilarious.

Do something nice for your husband and don’t make him rub your feet to return the favor. 

Don’t despair. Just today–don’t despair.

Just for today.

Today, I can do.

And tomorrow, I will do tomorrow.

But today, I’m only going to be strong for today.

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